


Not a trace of me would argue

by Port_in_a_Storm



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Boys In Love, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, terms of endearment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 05:06:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7300687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Port_in_a_Storm/pseuds/Port_in_a_Storm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Faced with the new concept of a term of endearment, Aaron comes to terms with what it means to him and Robert. Five times that Robert called Aaron 'Baby' and the one time he didn't. </p>
<p>Based on a prompt on tumblr</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not a trace of me would argue

**Author's Note:**

> Original ask/prompt: "Love your fic and love Robert calling Aaron "baby". Just wondering if you could write something about Aaron's reaction the first time Robert calls him it and his thoughts the next time too because by then he'd have already heard it so how would he feel about it? Also, the first time Robert calls him it in public - if he does at all, maybe that could be the issue, the fact that he doesn't and it's special. If you can't tell, I'm a sucker for that particular term of endearment. ;p"
> 
> To the nonnie who requested this, I am so sorry about the wait! Nothing went right for the longest time. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!

0.5) 

The first time didn’t really count. Aaron was out of it completely, faint with pain and anger and hurt, and when he had collapsed, he couldn’t really tell what was reality and what wasn’t. He remembered Robert being there, and he remembered his arms around him. But it was the words that he found himself second-guessing. He could have sworn that, shaking and panicking, Robert had said, ‘Baby, what’ve you done?’ Except he couldn’t be sure. Then everything was darkness until Robert dragged and pulled him to the hospital.

That first time didn’t really count.

****

1)

What Aaron did remember vividly was the kiss. He had been ready to accept Robert back into his life when he had found Sandra, when he had presented Aaron with a way to end this nightmare. But that didn’t happen. Later though, much later, when they were in the back room of the pub, sharing soft kisses on the sofa, Aaron was ready to give Robert another chance and Robert wanted to take it. He wasn’t sure if he was ready, not completely, but he was tired of waiting; tired of putting his life on hold because of his past. Robert was his way forward.

‘What happens now?’ Aaron asked tentatively.

Robert’s eyes flickered down to his lips and back to his eyes before leaning forward again and kissing Aaron softly. ‘What do you want?’

Aaron swallowed. He knew what he wanted, despite telling Robert to take things slow. He ran his hand down Robert’s chest. Robert grabbed his hand gently and brought it to his lips, kissing the knuckles. ‘Not that,’ he said with all the softness of a bird’s feather.

Aaron frowned. ‘You don’t want me.’ It wasn’t a question. Aaron couldn’t fathom anything past Robert just seeing him as a victim, as someone who needed saving.

He got a groan in response. ‘Aaron, you have no… no _idea_ what you do to me. Of course I _want you_. God, Baby, I want you so much, but—’

‘What did you call me?’

‘What? When?’

‘Just then.’ Aaron narrowed his eyes and wrenched his hand back from Robert’s soft grasp. ‘I—I’m not… you can’t… what the hell do you see me as? Some… child? Something that needs protecting?’

‘What?’ Robert looked hurt and shocked. ‘No! No, of course n—I… I didn’t mean—’

‘ “Baby”?’ Aaron said it incredulously. He shook his head. ‘If that’s… if you think I need protecting like that, then—’

‘Aaron, please. Just,’ Robert took a breath before he met Aaron’s eyes. ‘Let me…’ he didn’t try to take Aaron’s hand again. He knew him too well. ‘Let me explain. Please?’ Aaron didn’t object; didn’t say anything in fact, just sat there with a face like stone. ‘I meant what I said: that you’re the strongest person I know. I know better than to think I can protect you,’ he smiled weakly but it was short-lived as Aaron didn’t return it. ‘I just… It feels right. I care about you _so much_ , Aaron. I guess… I guess I want you to want me to take care of you; to protect you.’ He swallowed and licked his lips. ‘But I won’t use it, if you don’t want me to.’

They sat in silence. 

‘I just don’t want you to think I need you to protect me. I can take care of myself.’

‘I know you can. Doesn’t stop me from wanting it, though.’ He reached forward. Aaron’s voice and eyes had calmed. He touched their fingertips together and Aaron’s eyes stayed locked onto his. ‘When I call you “Baby”, I don’t mean it derogatively; I don’t mean to belittle you or any of that. It’s because I love you.’

Aaron inhaled sharply. He had heard it before, four times in fact; five now. It didn’t stop taking his breath away though. Robert looked so sincere. He had proven over and over during the past few months that he really did love Aaron; he had given his time, his patience; he had allowed Aaron to take his anger out on him, and not once did he leave his side by his own choosing. This… this was the first time that Aaron allowed himself to believe that Robert meant it; that he loved him.

‘But if you want me to stop,’ Robert was saying. ‘…Then I will.’ The way he looked, it was as if it caused him physical pain.

Aaron tentatively linked their hands, their fingers intertwining. ‘No,’ he murmured, the sound more just a vibration in his chest than an actual word. He shook his head, looked down at his and Robert’s hands, and back into Robert’s eyes. ‘I want to get used to it.’

****

1.5)

It was weird, a term of endearment. He and Jackson had never done it; it had never seemed… right somehow. Not that it lessened what they felt for each other, because it didn’t. But neither he nor Jackson were the type to call their boyfriends ‘babe’ or ‘love’ or any of that, and Aaron was fine with it. He didn’t think he’d ever get on board fully with the pet names thing. Then there was Ed, and he had called Aaron ‘babe’ a couple of times. But it was as if he was trying it on for size, and both times Aaron and Ed had looked at each other and sniggered: it didn’t fit. It didn’t stop Ed from pulling out the name every now and then, especially if he was drunk, but that was about it.

Robert… it hurt to remember Robert with Chrissie, but Aaron remembered them being very close in public. He remembered Robert calling her ‘babe’ sometimes, and the name had made his stomach clench foully. It wasn’t that he wanted Robert to address him as such, because he didn’t. There was the time Robert had called him ‘mate’ over the phone before they met in the barn, but that was all he could remember in terms of pet names passing between them. 

It was something that Aaron didn’t dedicate a lot of time to thinking about. But then Robert had called him… _that_ and he suddenly didn’t know where to put himself, what to think, how to feel. 

_It’s because I love you_. 

And that was what pet names were about, wasn’t it? A show of love. Aaron had never been one for public displays of affection. His boyfriends had known that he loved them, and that was enough. Wasn’t it?

****

2)

He didn’t say it again for another week or so. Aaron didn’t know whether to be relieved or upset. He was still trying to get his head around it. He’d listen when Adam called Vic ‘babe’, and he’d hear how his voice changed, how occasionally she’d smile at him with more than her lips, and there was a different kind of look in her eyes. Was that what those names did to people? Is that what it would do to him? 

When it did happen again, Aaron didn’t expect the feelings that swept over him.

Liv was stressing him out. There were no two ways about it. She wouldn’t go to school, she disobeyed him, she was rude about and to Robert. Aaron doted on her, of course he did, she was his little sister and he thought the world of her. But god, she was hard work. 

Aaron slouched through his bedroom door, his back bent and shoulders aching from the stress weighing them down. Robert was already in the room and lying on the bed, scrolling through his phone. As soon as he saw him though, he sat up and pat the space in front of him. ‘C’mere,’ he said softly. When Aaron sat down, Robert immediately rubbed his shoulders, and Aaron moaned in appreciation. ‘Good?’

‘Yeah.’ He leant his head forward and grunted when Robert’s thumbs dug into his neck. He was suddenly overcome with gratitude for the man who would do so much for him even going as far as putting up with a tearaway teenager for him. ‘Thank you,’ he murmured.

‘No problem.’ Robert kissed his shoulder.

‘For everything, I mean,’ Aaron said. 

Robert stopped his massage and lifted Aaron’s chin to turn him so Aaron was facing him. Then he leant forward and kissed him, slow and tender. He pulled Aaron down beside him, and they lay so that Aaron’s head was cushioned on Robert’s chest. 

‘She’s a handful,’ Aaron admitted. ‘I thought I could do this, but… I feel like I’m letting her down by not being good enough.’

‘You _are_ good enough,’ Robert said. ‘You’re a good brother, Aaron.’ He sighed. ‘The thing is though, she needs a parent figure and you can’t be both. At this age she needs you to be a strict parent, not a best friend.’

‘I don’t know if I can do that,’ he whispered.

‘You can. And don’t forget, I’m here as well.’ Robert kissed the top of Aaron’s head. ‘We’ll figure this out together, Baby.’

Aaron wasn’t ready for it; the feelings that washed over him. Hearing Robert say that again, calling him that, it left a warm feeling in his body that went down to his toes. 

Robert shifted suddenly next to him. ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘Was that okay? I didn’t—’

Aaron put a reassuring hand on his stomach. ‘It’s okay. I told you, didn’t I? I want to get used to it.’ Robert smiled in unadulterated joy and Aaron was left breathless at the sight.   
_It’s because I love you_.

‘Us and Liv: we’ll be alright, won’t we,’ he said. It wasn’t a question, because he already knew the answer.

‘Of course we will,’ Robert replied.

They fell asleep like that: Aaron’s head on Robert’s chest. They didn’t even have sex, they both just drifted into silence, and then into sleep. There was something promising in the way that they fell asleep like that: neither of them needy for sex, both of them knowing that sex wasn’t the only reason they were in bed together. It was solid, it was real, and it would last. 

Aaron woke first the next morning, blinking groggily in the dull morning light. He watched Robert for a while, marvelling at his face in sleep; at his fragile beauty. When he wanted to, Robert could use that as a weapon, but now when sleep still had him, he was fragile and vulnerable. Aaron could feel himself falling more and more in love with him. Every part of him cried out for Robert; every single cell was pulled towards him. He had never felt this way before about anyone. 

‘I love you.’ He mouthed the words. He was still scared of them, still scared of what could happen to them when he said it out loud. He knew that Robert would never throw them back in his face the way he had the first time, but he was still so scared of them. The last time he had said those words to anyone else… well, he had lost Jackson forever, and he and Ed had broken up. So he mouthed them instead. He’d say them one day. 

Aaron leaned up on his elbow and kissed Robert’s bottom lip softly. It wasn’t enough to wake him up. 

‘Baby,’ he mouthed. He tried the word on for size. He could get used to it.

****

3)

It was a sunny day, and the only thing either of them wanted to do was stay outside the pub drinking in the sun, and each other, as much as they were drinking their pints. That was the moment that Nicola had decided to tell Robert that it was his turn to do a meeting with one of their clients.

‘I did it last time!’ he spluttered. ‘Remember? That guy who turned up late and I didn’t get home till gone eight.’

‘Well I’ll do it the next two times then,’ she said. Both of them knew that she wouldn’t. ‘I’m taking Angel to the park, seeing as it’s the first sunny day of the holidays.’

‘Yeah, and I’m sat here with my boyfriend, so—’

‘Look Robert, we both know that I’m gonna win this, alright. So why don’t you just say goodbye to Aaron, go and change into that nice pink suit you have, and meet Josh Grimshaw for lunch.’ She stalked away. 

Aaron didn’t know whether to be impressed, amused or angry and from the looks of it, neither did Robert. ‘Well that’s you told, mate,’ he laughed.

Robert huffed. He picked up his pint to down it, but it was grabbed out of his hand by Aaron. ‘Err, what are you doing?’

‘I’m not havin’ you drinkin’ before you drive. Adam will drink it,’ he said, gesturing his friend over, who had just walked to their table.

‘What’s this?’ Adam said, but didn’t protest when Aaron handed him a free pint.

‘I’m going to Leeds apparently,’ Robert grumbled. ‘Just gonna change.’ He left and Adam sat himself in Robert’s seat, taking the drink without question. The two of them passed conversation idly and easily between them.

Aaron’s eyes automatically gravitated back to Robert when he emerged from the back room of the pub again, this time in his pink suit. He really did look good. Aaron smiled.

Robert was patting down his pockets and muttering a checklist. ‘Phone, wallet, keys. Files are at the portacabin.’ He smiled at Aaron. ‘I’ll let you know when I’m on my way back. Really hoping it won’t be long.’

‘Okay,’ Aaron nodded. He smiled when Robert leant down to kiss him softly. ‘Drive safely.’

‘Will do. See you later, Baby. Enjoy the pint, Adam.’

Aaron didn’t notice Adam giving him a weird look until Robert’s car was out of sight. ‘What?’ he said.

‘Really?’ Adam looked like he didn’t know whether to frown or laugh. ‘Baby? Where the hell did that come from?’

Aaron shrugged. ‘It’s… his thing. _Our_ thing,’ he amended.

‘What, you mean you don’t mind it?’

He thought about it. ‘I did at first,’ he admitted. ‘Just felt… I dunno, weird, y’know. But now, yeah, I don’t mind it.’ He actually quite liked it, but he wasn’t about to tell Adam that. He was about to take a drink again when he caught Adam’s amused eyes. ‘What?’ he snapped.

‘Nothing. Just never thought I’d see the day, is all.’

‘What day?’ Aaron sighed, knowing it’d be easier to get this over with than to have Adam on his case all day.

Adam grinned. ‘You. All in love, using pet names and the like!’

Aaron rolled his eyes. ‘Listen, if you have a problem with it, you can—’

‘Oi, oi! Did I say I had a problem with it?’ Adam said, still smiling. ‘I just said it was different, that’s all.’ He let out a little laugh again. ‘ “Baby”,’ he sniggered.

‘Listen, right—’

‘Alright, I’ll stop, I’ll stop. Sorry.’

Aaron shook his head, then he kicked Adam’s shins. ‘Just cut it out, alright,’ he said. He chewed on his bottom lip. He knew he could tell Adam anything, and more than anything Aaron wanted to share with him what he felt for Robert. He scratched at the wood on the bench. ‘It makes me feel safe,’ he muttered.

‘Hm?’

He shrugged. ‘When he… calls me that. It, I dunno, it makes me feel safe.’ He shook his head. ‘I haven’t felt like that in a long time.’

‘Hey, Aaron.’ Adam nudged his arm until his friend looked at him. ‘Look, I know I have things to say about Robert, but if he makes you feel happy and _safe_ of all things, then he’s good in my book.’

‘Thanks.’

****

4)

‘What did he just call you?’ 

Aaron looked up from his magazine to his Mum’s curious look. She was staring at the door that Robert had just wandered out of on his way to pick up some clothes from Keeper’s. ‘Did he just call you “Baby”?’

Aaron clenched his jaw and looked back at his magazine. ‘Leave it, Mum.’

‘No, I just want to know! Did he just call you—’

‘Yes. Yes, he did, alright.’

She held up her hands placatingly, but there was still a strange mix of curiosity and concern on her face. ‘Okay. Just wondered that’s all.’

‘Why?’

‘Because you don’t seem the type,’ she said bluntly.

Aaron furrowed his brow. ‘What “type”?’

‘You know, the whole pet names thing. Least of all a name like that.’

‘Why, what’s wrong with it?’

‘Nothing’s wrong with it, love. I’m just sayin’ is it, y’know, _you_?’

The frown deepened on his face. ‘Mum, what’re you goin’ on about?’

She sighed and sat down next to him. ‘Just—don’t let him change you, love.’

‘Change me?’

‘Yeah. ‘Cause I know you, and I know that you’re not one for those kinds of terms of endearment.’

‘Well maybe I’m a different person around Robert. Maybe that kind of thing works for us.’ He turned back to his magazine. ‘And maybe you should mind your own business.’

‘Oi! I’m your Mum, I’m allowed to talk to you about these things. All I’m saying is: Robert may try to push the things that he did with Chrissie onto you.’

Aaron fought not to roll his eyes. ‘Mum, I love that you care so much about me, I do. You know that. But… me and Robert work the way we are. This, the whole term of endearment thing—it works for us. I… like when he calls me that. Reminds me that he loves me.’ He could feel a soft smile on his lips before he could stop it. Then he realised that he didn’t need to stop it. He and Robert were together. They were official. A couple. There was nothing that he needed to hide.

‘As long as you’re sure, love.’

‘I am.’

‘Then that’s all I need to know.’ She got up and went back to the kitchen. ‘If he hurts you, mind, I’ll set our Cain on him again.’

****

5)

‘I swear I didn’t order this,’ Aaron said, squinting at the coffee that Brenda had put in front of him.

Vic looked into his mug. ‘What? A latte?’ Aaron gave her a look and she smirked. ‘Yeah, you’re not quite at the latte stage, are you?’

Robert sniggered at him. ‘What did you want?’

‘Just a cup of coffee. Got a flamin’ headache.’ He pushed at his temples with his thumbs.

‘Well, coffee isn’t gonna solve that,’ Victoria said. ‘Don’t give me that look, Aaron Dingle. It’s the caffeine. It won’t do a thing for your headache.’

‘Why don’t I get some water for you, Baby?’ Robert said. Aaron nodded and smiled.

‘Um what was that?!’ Vic exclaimed when Robert had walked away. She couldn’t keep the squeal from her voice. The biggest smile was on her face. ‘Did he just—’

‘Vic, please,’ Aaron whimpered, massaging his throbbing temples.

‘Oh, sorry, sorry. I just—did he just call you “Baby”?’

‘Don’t you start. Already had Adam takin’ the mick.’

‘I’m not takin’ the mick, I think it’s sweet!’ She scrunched her nose up cutely. ‘Look at the two of you! Smitten kittens!’

‘You say that again,’ Aaron said threateningly, though there was a blush and a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

She smiled widely at him. ‘Hey,’ she nudged his shin gently with her foot. ‘I’m not takin’ the mick, Aaron. You know me. I’m just…’ she looked at her brother standing at the counter waiting for Aaron’s water and being forced into conversation with Brenda in the meantime. ‘It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Robert happy.’ There was a faraway, wistful tone to her voice that Aaron didn’t think he had heard before. ‘It suits him.’ She blinked and looked at him. ‘Suits you, too,’ she smiled.

Aaron was surprised that she could see the happiness in him, but then Victoria had always been more intuitive and smart than many people gave her credit for. He _was_ happy, he realised. Happier than he could honestly remember being.

Robert came back to their table, rolling his eyes but smiling fondly. ‘I don’t think she knows the meaning of “I’m in a hurry”,’ he complained. Aaron knew that he secretly liked that he wasn’t public enemy number one anymore. He was far from being the village’s golden boy, but Aaron himself remembered when he was a pain in everyone’s backsides. Now he was the village darling, as much as he may have hated it. Robert passed him a cold bottle of water. ‘Hope that helps.’

‘Thank you.’ Aaron leant over and kissed him on the lips. Robert looked surprised and ducked his head to hide his flushing cheeks.

‘Aww! Look at you two!’ Victoria gushed. She was just a step away from clapping her hands in joy and taking photos. ‘Right. I’d better go. Hope you feel better, Aaron.’ Impulsively she leant down to kiss her brother’s cheek. ‘See you later, Rob.’

He was surprised enough to almost miss saying goodbye to her. ‘What put her in such a good mood then?’ he said.

Aaron shrugged. ‘She said something about it being good to see both of us happy.’

‘You’re happy, Baby?’

Aaron’s smile widened. ‘Yeah. I am, as it happens.’

****

\+ 1)

Their shoulders nudged together as they stood by the bar in the pub. Robert had to shout to Aaron to be heard over the noise of the Hen Party currently in the Woolpack. ‘You want a drink?’ he yelled. Aaron frowned. ‘Drink?’ he yelled again. When Aaron still continued to frown, Robert mimed the word. 

‘Yeah!’ he yelled back and nodded. ‘Cheers!’

Robert caught Charity’s eye and motioned to her for two pints. After he had paid for them, he looked around the pub and spotted Aaron in a booth, talking to Holly, Cain and a gradually-getting-tipsy Moira, who was draped over her husband. Robert could think of other people he’d be more comfortable with sharing a table with, but he steeled himself anyway and made his way over to them.

‘Here you go, mate.’ He put the pint in front of Aaron. Luckily it was quieter here. He raised the drink to his lips and took a frothy mouthful. He caught Aaron frowning at him and frowned back. ‘What?’

‘Nothin’.’ But clearly there was something. Aaron shook his head and turned his attention back to Holly, who was talking to him about her new job in a bar in town. 

‘How’d you wing getting tonight off?’ Robert asked. He put his arm around Aaron’s shoulders, and felt his boyfriend’s back stiffen. He cast him a wondering look. What was wrong with him tonight?

Holly shrugged. ‘I’d like to say I fluttered my eyelashes at him until he gave in, but one of the girls there owed me a favour so I swapped with her.’

‘We’ll have to come in and see you sometime, won’t we, Aaron?’

Once again, Aaron stiffened. ‘Yeah, whatever. I’m goin’ to the bog.’ He got to his feet and squeezed past Robert without even looking his way. Not wanting to carry on the night in a fight, Robert followed him.

He found Aaron standing in the alcove before the men’s toilets, bracing himself against the wall. He looked almost in tears. ‘Hey,’ Robert soothed. ‘What’s wrong?’

Aaron shook his head and brushed Robert off when he tried to put his hand on his face. ‘Get off,’ he growled. 

‘What’s wrong? What’ve I done, Baby?’

‘There. That.’ He pointed an accusatory finger at Robert. ‘What the hell was that, back there?’

Robert was at a complete loss. ‘What?’

‘Out there.’ Aaron gestured with his arm back to the pub. ‘Ashamed of me now, are you? Of us?’

‘Of course not! Aaron, where is this coming from?’

‘You called me “mate” out there!’ he exclaimed. He rubbed his hand across his eyes. They were red and shining. ‘What happened to the other thing? Why’d you stop?’

It was like a light bulb clicked in his head. ‘Is that what this is about?’ he said. He had to stop himself from smiling, because he knew that Aaron would not take that well. ‘Of course I’m not ashamed of us! I just didn’t, I mean I thought that name was special, y’know. Like, just between us.’

‘You’ve called me it in front of my Mum and Liv before. And Vic. And Adam.’

‘Yeah, well I’m comfortable around them. It doesn’t feel like we’re giving out secrets in front of them.’ He placed his hands tentatively on Aaron’s waist and took a step towards him. ‘It just… feels like us.’ He ducked his head so he could look properly into Aaron’s eyes. ‘Does that make sense?’

‘No. Well, yeah, I guess.’ He shook his head. ‘Why do you have to be so frustrating?’

‘Oh, _I’m_ the frustrating one, am I?’ Aaron quirked a smile. Robert kissed his cheekbone. ‘Doesn’t change what I feel about you,’ he said. ‘And it is special. But I don’t want to share that with them, not all of them anyway.’

Aaron’s gaze flickered between Robert’s eyes and his lips. ‘Okay.’ Robert took that as his cue and kissed him lightly on the lips. ‘Sorry for overreacting. Again.’

‘It’s okay.’ 

They kissed again, and Aaron’s hands slipped up to Robert’s biceps and clung on, bringing them closer together. When they drew back, their eyes were sparkling. There was a heat between them, the electricity that was always there, but it was something that didn’t have to be rushed. 

Instead of going upstairs, a look passed between them. They were both willing to wait. Robert took Aaron’s hand. ‘Ready to go back in, Baby?’

_It’s because I love you._

‘Yeah. Ready.’

**Author's Note:**

> Come have a nosy on tumblr!: [](http://www.portinastorm.tumblr.com)Port in a Storm
> 
> The title is a line from the song 'To be alone' by Hozier.


End file.
